Monday, January 12, 2009

Going for Gold........and Frankinsence and Myrrh

Perusing the Guardian job ads while some eggs were poaching, I was startled to find an ad for a Catholic Olympics Co-ordinator.

I knew that for many years there has been a Gay Olympics but I had no idea there was a Catholic Olympics.
I imagine that the first duty of the Co-ordinator would be to ensure that all athletes are over 16, the Catholic Church having paid out quite enough millions in compensation to abuse victims already.

Beyond that, consideration of the content of a Catholic Olympics conjures up a series of Pythonesque images:
the Stations of the Cross Sprint;
synchronised genuflecting;
throwing the Biretta;
swirling the chasuble;
and the confession-hearing marathon.
Not to mention tossing the altar boy. But in a rare lapse in taste I've mentioned it. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.....

On closer examination - and rather disappointingly - the post is to support the London 2012 Olympics and "build a legacy of sport and faith".
One of the aims is 'evangelisation'. This surprised me for British Catholics are the least evangelical of Christians. Inevitably so, for apart from a few high-profile converts like Anne Widdecombe, it's difficult to be evangelical when you don't believe in most of the unique dogmas of your religion. And that's the case with the majority of Catholics in the developed world.
In any case, one wonders what kind of evangelisation would be appropriate at a secular event like the Olympics, attended by people of every faith and none?

But £35K a year isn't a bad salary to shlepp around the Olympics Village, saying 'Bless you', encouraging competitors to make the sign of the cross on camera and vandalising all the condom machines.

In case you're tempted, you should be aware that a 'GOR' applies to this post: the God-Botherer's Opt-Out Rule. Applicants must be Catholics.
(Actually, that's 'Genuine Occupational Requirement').
Not a problem for me: I was baptised a Catholic. And once a Catholic, always a Catholic, according to the church.
But whilst I could probably hum Faith Of Our Fathers to the interviewing panel, I'd have a bigger problem convincing them I was 'passionate about sport', which is another requirement. A passionate dislike of most sports is probably not what they mean.


At 5:28 PM, Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

At least you had the good taste not to suggest five-a-side heretic burning as an event.

At 10:15 PM, Blogger cello said...

Cross-country transubstantiation.

Did I know you were 'once a Catholic' Willie? Yet another thing we share

At 9:07 AM, OpenID pleite said...

Is that true that the church thinks of you as a Catholic for ever once you've been encatholicked? I was encatholicked as a baby but decatholicked myself here in Germany as, unmythically, it would have meant me giving the Catholic church a good dollop of tax. But am I, as far as the church is concerned, still one of the flock?

At 4:39 PM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

vicus: old joke: priest to heretic: "how would you like your stake?".

cello: yes, I'm sure you knew but had forgotten. If they turn out to have been right after all, we'll meet up in purgatory or worse. (They abolished Limbo recently. What happened to those who were there?).

pleite: you made a similar point here:
I still don't know the answer but I suspect the Catholic Church counts you in but doesn't count you out.

At 5:48 PM, OpenID pleite said...

Eek. Apologies for the forgetfulness. Maybe I actively need to convert to something else to make doubly sure.


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