Saturday, September 03, 2005

Radio Ga-Ga

I'm not sure that I should bother taking issue with the witterings of a right-wing buffoon like Simon Heffer.
But, in a discussion on the Tory leadership on Radio Four, he's just said 'if you go to places like Norfolk and Suffolk, people there aren't interested in things like gay rights.....'

This vividly illustrates the different planet that Daily Mail columnists are living on, even though they claim to be 'in touch with what ordinary people are thinking'.

Does Heffer think there are no gay people in Suffolk and Norfolk? For they at least are going to have some interest in gay rights.
Indeed, for gay people living in those counties it may be a more pressing issue than for those whose local pub is in London's Old Compton Street.

Presumably, there are also straight people in those counties who would prefer to live in a society that did not discriminate against people on grounds of their sexuality.

Believe it or not, there are even Labour voters in Norfolk!
The good people of Norwich South managed to rise above the miasma of medieval superstition that usually rules their lives and elect an MP (Charles Clark) who supported a gay age of consent of 16.

If I lived in one of those counties I'd be even angrier at Heffer's prejudiced, patronising comments than I am now.


One of the great things about radio is that you can listen to it anywhere in the house and whilst you are doing other things.
The downside of this is that the noise of running a tap, cleaning your teeth or doing the washing-up can blot out words and phrases leaving you astonished or bewildered by what you think you heard.
This morning I was startled to hear someone say that the painter Lowry used to work as a rent boy during the day.
They had actually said that he worked as a rent collector.
The other day Peter Mandelson appeared to say that the trade negotiations with China were a bitch.
Crikey, I thought, that's rather camp even for you, Mandy.
When I heard the same interview later I found he'd actually said the negotiations had hit a glitch.
Does anyone else have this problem?
'Problem' is perhaps the wrong word. It often takes me into a world of surreal humour which makes Radio Four's Today programme more bearable.

SHORTS UPDATE: you will be relieved to know that the garment referred to in yesterday's descent into trivia fitted reasonably well.
The risk of fall-out was non-existent because not only do they have no fly but they are secured with a cord. This makes them highly unsuitable for anyone who drinks as many cups of tea as I do, leading to long and annoying fumblings in the bathroom.
And no, Mike, they are not actually made of plastic. I believe them to be made of synthetic, imitation acrylic.
But I only wore them for an hour because I found the sight of my white thighs aesthetically offensive.
The solutions are:
To start wearing them early in the summer.
To apply an instant tanning lotion to my legs.
To put them somewhere I'll never find them again.

NEXT WEEK: I find an old floral kipper tie and cause hysteria in the village library.


At 12:07 PM, Blogger zaphod said...

Mrs Zaphod likes a man in a floral kipper tie.
She would I 'spose what with her being insane!
As for shorts, I wear 'em all year round indoors.

At 12:37 PM, Blogger Merkin said...

I'm beginning to think that it'd be better for your blood pressure Willie if you didn't blog about anything to do with the Daily Mail, it pains me to hear of their loony outpourings, even distilled via the medium of calm (and retro skimpy shorts) that is MFME.

Incidentally (and nicely symmetrically) it appears that the late Lynda Lee-Potter - who I'd always considered Queen of Hate - was actually very pro-gay (see Honeytom's 20 Oct 04 post for details) according to a Norfolk-based gay blogger.

At 2:49 PM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

zaphod, there's a nice joke about kipper ties that doesn't really work in print. But it's based on Brummies pronouncing 'cup of tea' 'kipper tie'.

merkin: I read the post you refer to at the time but I still think Lee-Potter was a rancid bitch. And if she was personally pro-gay but wrote anti-gay stuff then she was also a mercenary fucking hypocrite.
She also made abusive comments about Mo Mowlem's appearance after the latter's chemotherapy - admittedly before she knew the reason for it. By a strange irony, Lee-Potter died of a brain tumour herself.

At 3:54 PM, Blogger MJ said...

Re: Shorts fall-out ... I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.

At 5:58 PM, Blogger Urban Chick said...

as it happens, i know a gay man living in norfolk, sorry, let me revise that:

i *knew* a gay man who lived in norfolk (no, this is not a limerick) but he moved back to london on account of it being a bit cr*p to be gay and living in norfolk

think i should fire off a quick missive to mr heffalump?

At 8:14 AM, Blogger JonnyB said...

Ah - that old catch-all 'people'.

Two gay couples live in my (tiny) village. I'd guess they'd be quite interested. I'm quite interested. Some other people are not interested. So presumably the correct phrase would have been 'some people'.

Interestingly, Heffer is such an iconic figure to some that it's easy to forget that he's really just a bit thick. He wrote a piece after the election claiming that the conservatives weren't elected in North Norfolk because their candidate was gay.

As opposed to pointing out that the people of North Norfolk had declined to be represented by Michael Howard's views, and had returned those nice touchy-feely inclusive libdems with a hugely increased majority.

At 8:32 AM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

mj: that was a new one to me. Problem is that people say that to me in a literal sense all the time.

uc: no, he isn't worth it. But if we all blog about what a twat he is, anyone searching for him on Google, including himself, might get the message.

jonny: thanks for that insight from the county itself. I'm beginning to think Norfolk is actually very gay. I have a relative in a Norfolk village and I think her best friend is gay.
I've only been there once, on a day trip to Norwich, and was propositioned within an hour by what we would now call a chav youth.
You're right, some of these media figures labelled 'intellectuals' would actually make two short planks look like Brain of Britain.

At 4:14 PM, Blogger Ben said...

Heffer's an idiot. I've had several very good nights in The Loft, a gay club in Norwich, and I can confirm for Mr Heffer's benefit that there are indeed plenty of gay people in East Anglia.

And you're absolutely right in saying that gay rights are probably more of a pressing concern for gay people there than in London.

At 10:54 PM, Blogger Cut-Rate Parasite said...

I agree, there's nothing worse than long and annoying fumblings in the bathroom. So, go for option 3 and put them where you'll never find them again.

At 7:10 AM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

ben, maybe someone should send Heffer an invite to The Loft, so long as they don't have too strict a door policy.

C-R P: I think I detected a sub-text in that comment but maybe it's just me.

At 8:51 PM, Blogger Long Island Guide said...


I was searching through blogs to see how to create a blog. I like your blog. I was wondering if I should write about suffolk county police exam to add to my website.

Thank you,



Post a Comment

<< Home