Euro 2008: Another Win For Northern Europe
We can't say that Germany's defeat of Portugal last night has wiped the smile of Scolari's face because that obnoxious man scowls most of the time.
He's also one of the great whingeing managers, blaming everyone and everything for defeat except himself and his players.
Scolari once stated that he would never allow a gay footballer to play in one of his teams. Yet even after this remark, the FA tried to make him the England manager. What makes that worse is that the FA has a campaign to eradicate homophobia from football. It's not as high profile as its anti-racism campaign but it exists nonetheless. Can you imagine the reaction if Scolari had said he would not have a black player in his team? As it is, he will now be welcomed to the coach's job at Chelsea.
Will anyone thrust a copy of Chelsea's equality policy under Scolari's nose? This states:
"Chelsea is committed to providing each employee, potential employee, customer and service users equality of opportunity in all the things we do.
We will ensure that equality practices are integral to every process and create an inclusive and positive environment for all. Chelsea is a diverse organisation that values difference and recognises that people with different background, skills, attitudes and experiences bring fresh ideas and perceptions.
Chelsea is an equal opportunities employer and views all diversity as enriching the organisation and value the independent knowledge and experience that this delivers."
That seems pretty clear to me. I can find nothing that excludes sexuality from this policy. So unless they have told Scolari to leave all his bigoted, Catholic baggage at Terminal Five, this equality policy is just hot air.
Ronaldo did not, as I predicted, sit down and cry last night. But I wasn't entirely wrong because he strode off the pitch and immediately started hinting to the media that he'd soon be off to Real Madrid. He did almost nothing of note during the game apart from a BAFTA-winning performance where he implied his foot had been stamped on and writhed in agony for a few seconds.
But an even more shocking example to the millions of young people watching was provided by the German manager. In the tense, final minutes of the game he actually lit a cigarette.
He could do this because he was confined to a private box in the stands following an earlier indiscretion. But in the present climate, smoking a cigarette will probably see him banned from the ground completely for the semi-final.
If so, touchline duties will again be in the capable hands of Herr Flick. Yes, that really is his name which may cause as much amusement in Germany now that German television has bought 'Ello, 'Ello.
And if the Germans can now laugh at wartime stereotypes, I needn't have worried about commentator Clive Tyldsley saying last night that the Portuguese needed to dig an escape tunnel from the Germans.
I'm now off to have a German Salami sandwich in tribute to our Anglo-Saxon cousins. The Queen is probably doing the same now that her country are in the semis.
We're not done with wartime references because following my father's appalling teatment by Nationwide which I wrote about on Tuesday, he told their head office that had he been shot down over Germany he would have been treated better by the Gestapo.
He was subsequently welcomed back to the Nationwide branch, offered coffee and biscuits and invited to withraw as much money as he wished without any proof of identity whatsoever.
Meanwhile, on freerice.com I have managed to increase my vocabulary level to 54, spurred on by those clever clogs who said they had beaten my score.
It took me bloody ages but over 7000 grains of rice were donated in the process and that doesn't happen if you're playing Scrabble.