Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Those Lazy, Crazy, Frog-Watering Days of Summer

As though I don't have enough to do, watering my many patio pots, I now have to water the frog who lives in my garden.
On a hot day he likes nothing better than to stand and enjoy a cold shower from the watering can.
I've named him George, after Britain's Got Talent winner George Sampson*, because he likes dancing in the rain. Well, hopping anyway.
But physically, he looks more like the bastard child of Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden.

I'm not sure whether George is fearless or stupid. To take close-up photos like the one above, the camera was only inches from his face but he was happy to pose for them. Perhaps he likes being papped.
But how does he know I'm not a predator? A Frenchman, for example, looking for a free hors d'oeuvre.

I last mentioned seeing him almost three years ago to the day and thought he might have croaked it. Of course, this may not be the same frog although they can live for up to fifteen years, especially when a kindly landlord provides them with en-suite shower facilities.
Maybe his reappearance is related to the fact that 2008 has been designated The Year of The Frog.

He's just lucky he didn't encounter the 12 year old Willie Lupin, for he would have joined the countless amphibians, reptiles and fish who perished in tanks in my bedroom. It may have been this unintended animal genocide that led me to reconsider my ambition to become a naturalist.


I've remarked before that because radio is often the background to noisy daily chores, it's easy to mis-hear things.
The other day I was startled by the statement that fewer men are wearing tights to work. I had no idea that this fetish had ever been so common. Pressing my ear to my tranny, I found that 'ties' were the garment referred to.

Then I heard that the Tory Chief Whip in the European Parliament, one Ben Dover, had resigned.
Now 'Ben Dover' is a well-known British pornographer (although I'm unfamiliar with his ouevre). Surely this was taking Cameron's liberal Conservatism a little too far.
And making him Chief Whip was piling innendo on top of innuendo.
But it turned out that the man in question was called 'Den Dover', although that sounds equally like a made-up name.

Finally, I thought I heard that last night's Euro 2008 football match was being played in a stadium called Wankdorf.
Oh, hang on.
It really was at a stadium called Wankdorf.
And so we had the glorious aptness of commentators Clive Tyldesley and David Pleat ensconced in a building called 'Wankdorf''.
Maybe next week they'll be at the 'Twatsgrund'. We can but hope.


*Someone's done a terrific video mix on YouTube of George Sampson and Gene Kelly dancing together.
Not having watched the Gene Kelly version for a long time, I was astonished to find that George had incorporated some of the same moves into his up-dated version.
Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaOHPPOrvvA


At 11:22 AM, Blogger Geoff said...

Has George flipped over onto his back yet?

At 1:29 PM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

geoff: no, despite my encouragement, he hasn't.
But even Gene Kelly didn't do that.

At 6:36 PM, Blogger cello said...

The other fact that has emerged is that George (boy not frog)was part of the winning team in the competition that MTV ran with the Department of Transport to create a road-safety ad. As a consequence, George was chosen to write 'Private View' in Campaign magazine, a prestigious honour that normally goes to a top creative director. Clearly the boy is exceptionally talented in many ways.

As for George the frog, did he lead to our exchange of photos about garden amphibians, with young T, now 13, holding Wally the wall lizard?

T has moved on to bigger things and is now the proud owner of a blue-tongued skink!

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

cello: George's varied achievements show what nonsense is talked about 'broken families' and the failings of state schools. And, his talent apart, the friendship and support he gave to Andrew, his co-competitor was an example of personal qualities that neither money nor private education can buy.

Yes, I published a photo of Wally back in 2005.
So T has now moved on to Tiliqua Scincidae?
OK, I admit I had to look it up. I thought you might have mis-typed 'skunk'.


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