Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Sexual Politics

So LibDem leader Nick Clegg has told a magazine that he may have had sex with up to 30 people in his life. The cheap joke is that, unusually for a leading LibDem, so far as we know they were all women. But this blog doesn't do cheap jokes.
But it's the cue for the tabloids to describe him as a Lothario, a Casanova, if not a priapic, sex-crazed satyr, from whom no woman is safe.

It's impossible to know whether this was misguided honesty on Clegg's part in a situation where he would have been justified in telling the interviewer to mind his own fucking business or whether it was calculated to increase his electoral appeal.
You may recall that William Hague once claimed to have drunk 12 pints of beer a day when he was a teenager, which was greeted with some scepticism.
Then there was Cherie Blair telling The Sun that Tony was a three-times-a-night man. This also strained credulity (and for Tony might have strained something else) if only because, as the comedian Al Murray put it, any man seeing that large clown's face coming towards him would claim to have a heart condition.

Returning to Clegg, is up to 30 sexual partners for a man in his forties really evidence of rampant promiscuity?
It's surely a bit like the definitions of 'left' and 'right' in politics. It depends where you're coming from.
Some people clock up 30 partners a year, some in just a month and some only in an entire lifetime. The married, ultra-monogamous person might clock up only one. For a small minority the tally is 'none'.

Would the interviewer (Piers Morgan) have asked the same question of an older politician such as Vince Cable? Or of a female politician? What brave man would have asked the question of Margaret Thatcher?
(Interesting side-note: it was during Thatcher's premiership that (a) explicit sexual information was promulgated because of the AIDS scare and (b) hard-core pornography was legalised for the first time. Pity the poor ministers who had to brief her on those two issues whilst marvelling that old iron drawers gave her approval).

All of which reminds me of the two old Chelsea Pensioners discussing when they last had sex.
"Not since my wife died ten years ago", said one. "What about you?"
"Not since 1918."
"Really! As long ago as that?"
(Looks at watch) "Well, it's only 19.45 now."


At 10:17 AM, Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

When I saw this story the headline referred to "Clegg" having sex with 30 women. The only Clegg I knew was "Norman". I am grateful to learn that octogenarian porn will not be featuring on that gentle comedy.
Please do not refer to Mrs Thatcher and sex again, unless she is mauled by a doubly-horny rhino.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Betty said...

He "may" have had sex with "up to" thirty people in his life. That could be one, ten, or twenty nine, but definitely not thirty one. There must be a bright future ahead of him working in the Treasury.

At 11:28 AM, Blogger Geoff said...

Lib Dems are great lovers because they're never first past the post.

At 12:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought that joke was going to go:

Two old Chelsea Pensioners discussing when they last had sex.
"Not since my wife died ten years ago", said one. "What about you?"
"Not since your wife died ten years ago."

At 4:13 PM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

vicus: I had to Google Norman Clegg. Had no idea who he was, having successfully avoided that comedy for 95 years.

betty: wonder if his chat-up lines are equally ambiguous?

geoff: yes, but at some by-elections they have impressed people with the size of their majorities.

wyndham: your version is probably better.
I have another Chelsea Pensioner joke. Pledge money now to stop me telling it.


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