Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Something In The Downing Street Water?

It's the 1970s.
The Prime Minister, James Callghan, is having a conversation about homosexuality with his political adviser, Bernard Donoughue. "I don't understand it", says Callaghan, "there are so many beautiful women around."

It's 30 years later.
The Prime Minister, Tony Blair, is talking to one of his spin doctors, Lance Price, who is gay. "I hope you don't mind me asking", says Blair, "but when you see a beautiful woman, doesn't it do anything for you?"

I hope you don't mind me asking, dear readers. But exactly how stupid do you have to be to become Prime Minister?

Sources: The Heat Of The Kitchen by Bernard Donoughue.
Spin Doctor's Diary by Lance Price, not yet published.


At 10:41 AM, Blogger Urban Chick said...

let me come over all trisha/pop psych here...

well, as a straight man with a shaky sense of his own sexuality, perhaps he was seeking to prod lance into confessing his (hidden) hetereosexuality

because, as we all know, gay men want to hit on everyone, gay, straight, whatever

At 10:45 AM, Blogger Urban Chick said...

i do apologise

i think there might be a stray 'e' in hetereoeoeoesexuality

i'm all at sixes and sevens with my 'e's and 'o's since reading your post on homeoeoeoeoepathy

'tis your fault, mr lupin

At 11:32 AM, Blogger Merkin said...

Ah, the naivety of the last two Labour PMs. Despite their different backgrounds, Jim and Tony are displaying the rather common sympton of bumbling ignorant Englishness rather than any bigotry, as shown by the former comment "I don't understand...".

Amongst otherwise intelligent friends of mine, a frequent comment about homosexuality is that they entirely respect someone's choice of sexuality and it's "not a problem". In my experience, the vast majority of well adjusted heterosexual males have never come across (ahem) any gay men and simply cannot quite understand why they don't fancy women. I don't think it's bigotry, or even stupidity, it's just (in the old fashioned meaning of the word) innocent ignorance.

The sooner they find a gay gene to prove once and for all the "nature vs nurture" debate, the better. Bloody hell, I sound like a letter to The Guardian.

At 11:52 AM, Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Urban chick "prod lance". It seems that Mr B is not the only one having a tricky time dealing with sexual imagery.

At 3:55 PM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

uc: it's rather puzzling since Blair's best buddy is Mandelson, who is godfather to his children. He also claims to have had a gay friend at school, although that could have been an imaginary friend. Many of Blair's school memories have proved to be as real as Iraq's WMD. It's always possible that Blair was pulling Price's leg and Price took it seriously. Oh God, I'm making excuses for Blair....where's my medication?

merkin: whether or not there's a gay gene, all current research points to sexuality being fixed very early, probably before birth.

Of course, heterosexual men are seeing gay men every day but because they don't resemble Graham Norton or a gay Big Brother contestant they don't realise it.

btw, I'm forever having to change that phrase 'come across' in case people think I'm making one of my tedious doubles entendres. It reminds me of my brief foray into teaching which was a linguistic minefield. It's incredible what teenage boys will read into the most innocent word or phrase.

vs: I've a vague memory of 'Lance-a-lot' being an old Carry On joke.

At 4:45 PM, Blogger cello said...

I love your doubles entendres.

At 7:35 PM, Blogger Jacqueline said...

Perhaps not as stupid as you need to become President of the U.S.A.

I can't stop laughing at this entry for some reason.

At 6:31 AM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

Jacqueline: you're right, it is very funny in its absurdity.


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