Sunday, April 03, 2005

When A Whisper's As Good As A Shout

This post was held over because of the highly unusual phenomenon of an 84 year old man dying.

The one concession that I, as a republican, make to monarchists is that an elected President could never be as entertaining as the bunch of cretins and nutters that make up the Windsor clan, this week's muttered comments by Charles on the press being a good example.

The ability of Charles, like many of his class, to speak without moving his mouth made me think that he had his hand up the back of one of the young Princes and, in a skilful piece of 'venting', was seeking to persuade us that it was one of them who were insulting the media. Eat your heart out, Ray Allen and Lord Charles.

The most surprising thing about Prince Charles' comments on the press and the BBC's Nicholas 'Ginger Nuts' Witchell was that he didn't realise that modern microphones can pick up every careless whisper. He's like those old people who think it's enough to cover a telephone mouthpiece with your hand while you call the Customer Services person a fucking cretin. It used to be but not any more.
(Could his attack on the hapless Witchell be because those rumours that Harry is not his son are true and that he has an unconscious aversion to people of the ginger persuasion? How's that for a conspiracy theory?).

It reminded me of when radio mikes were first introduced into the theatre and those classes at RADA on projecting your voice to the back of the Upper Circle became redundant. Many actors got caught out by these mikes pinned to their lapels, like the one who as he exited stage left and headed for his dressing room exclaimed "What a fucking dreadful audience tonight!" and was heard loud and clear by 2,000 members of said audience.
Then there are the mute buttons for radio newsreaders that don't always work. There's the story of a BBC newsreader who, after reading "the bank robbers escaped in a fast car", pressed the mute button and said "well, did you think it would be a slow car?", but the mute button failed and his aside was broadcast.

Did you know, by the way, that there are websites where gay men can share their unrequited passion for both Prince William and Prince Harry? So, whilst many gay men like a bit of rough there are obviously many who like a bit of posh. Arguably, with Harry you get both for the price of one. Or three for the price of one if you also have a uniform fetish.
But I've never seen any gay websites devoted to Prince Charles, despite the fact that the scandal a while back which the British media wouldn't publish was about one of his senior aides giving him what the Sunday tabloids tactfully call 'hand relief'. Allegedly.
(Why did I put 'allegedly'? Think of the traffic I'd get if Charles or his right hand man sued me).

When I was a child, many people said I bore a striking resemblance to Charles.
It could have been worse. I might have looked like Ann.
But before any middle-aged, divorced, horsey women from Wiltshire invite me to engage them in cyber-chat about feminine hygiene products, let me say that any resemblance to Charles disappeared long ago.
Apart, of course, from a propensity to rant at strangers on a variety of subjects, few of which I am an expert in.

'Are you sure this is the cruising area?'EXCLUSIVE!




SEE PAGES 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14


At 10:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its about time the bloody press were put in there place.Can you imagine just how much hassle the Royal Family have to put up with.
They were'nt on official duty they were on a holiday for Gods sake.
besides Charles is correct the BBc's Ginger one is a complete twat.I'm no Royalist just give the guy a break

At 7:37 AM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

The short press conference at the start of the Klosters holiday is arranged by Prince Charles' own press office. Nobody is forcing him to do it.
William did it with good grace and humour.
If Charles can't stand the irritations that go with his privileged lifestyle he could walk away from it and live as a private citizen. None of the Royals ever do this because they're gutless and they won't give up the wealth and the royal status.
I reserve my sympathy for all the people who have a daily struggle for survival.


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