Saturday, March 26, 2005

Go Figure 2

(These titles are a shameless attempt to cosy up to my American readers. But it's a dangerous game. At this rate I'll be saying "Do the math" without an 's'.)

How rude of me to start parenthetically. Anyway, I've just watched England thrash Northern Ireland 4-0 in the World Cup qualifier. It was even more blissful if you forgot they were playing a crap team and pretended that N.Ireland were Argentina.
If you're thinking 'he must be talking about soccer', then you never watch football. And if you're thinking 'does he mean Association Football?' there's even less hope for you.
Are there any other sports that have more than one name, one for those who follow them and one for those who don't? ('Boring shit' for 'cricket' doesn't count).

Joe Cole was Man of the Match. However in his post-match interview he said:
"Old Trafford's a big pitch, so we knew they were going to tire."
I had always assumed that all league and international pitches were the same size. If not, then this is most unfair. So if you'll excuse me I'm now going to write a strong letter to FIFA.

5 Comments:

At 5:49 PM, Blogger zaphod said...

The football pitches have a maximun and minimun size and so yes, they are not all the same.

Or should that be no, they are not all the same.

Now I'm confused but I like your blog.

 
At 5:57 PM, Blogger Steve said...

Max and min - at City, we used to have one of the widest pitches in Europe. It was great for wingers.

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

It proves you shouldn't make jokes about things of which you have limited knowledge.
But I'm intrigued as to how big the variation can be. Would it be sufficient to tire the N.Ireland team who probably play at Old Trafford less than the England Team?

 
At 7:51 PM, Blogger Cut-Rate Parasite said...

In the U.S. the "soccer" fields (we save "pitches" for baseball) tend to be on uneven ground, usually near the side of a hill, so size isn't an issue, gravity is. "Football" fields are perfectly graded and occupy the best bit of land that can be found, especially when at universities. (I exaggerate, of course. I teach at a university with a beautiful soccer field and no "American football" team whatsoever).

 
At 8:17 AM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

I should have entered the caveat that in America you have to use the term 'soccer' to distinguish it from American Football.
The English team are touring America this summer. Maybe a few weeks of coping with gravity will make the World Cup seem easy.

 

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