Our Youth Correspondent Writes:
Contrary to most media reports, the High Court this week did not declare a general right to wear a Muslim dress to school. It said that the school in this case had not followed the correct procedure. They would have been entitled to reach the same decision providing they had given due weight to the girl's religious beliefs. That's very different from the hysterical, and in some cases racist, coverage in the press.
The best solution would be to abolish school uniforms completely. I believe many other countries manage perfectly well without them.
The principal argument for uniforms is that they create sartorial equality and mask differences of class and wealth. As school kids say now: Yeah, right!
It's well known that an Englishman can precisely identify someone's position in the class structure the moment that person opens their mouth. Appearance is another key identifier. But the idea that school uniforms prevent this is nonsense.
At my Grammar School we all wore the same uniform. But the kids from wealthier, middle class families usually looked as though they had stepped out of the pages of a catalogue. Some of them looked so immaculate that you suspected their mothers had even ironed their underpants. They usually had pristine and polished satchels and a comprehensive range of pens, pencils and compasses carefully arranged in different compartments of a wooden pencil case. Their hair was always the optimum length and beautifully groomed. Their shoes were highly polished and their sports kit was laundered and ironed after every game and probably sprayed with eau de cologne. As someone once said of Gary Lineker, even their farts were probably perfumed.
The kids from poorer families wore exactly the same clothes but often looked as though they'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. Their shoes were scuffed, their blazers torn and combs were something that only girls used.
I'm generalising wildly here. One very scruffy boy was from a middle class family but his parents were very arty and what was then called 'bohemian'. But my point is that the uniform didn't fool anyone. It certainly didn't fool the teachers, some of whom clearly thought that the presence of kids from a council estate at a grammar school meant something had gone wrong with the selection procedure.
I don't know why I bothered writing all the above.
The simple fact is that I hate uniforms.
Uniforms are a tool of fascist oppression, man.
So if any kids read this blog, burn your school uniform!
I know it's not as much fun as burning the school down but you can get into some really serious shit for that and the wankers will only put you into temporary portakabins while they build a new one.
So start by burning your uniforms. You're free individuals, not the Nazi Fucking Youth Movement.