Monday, October 25, 2004

Bullshit In A Bottle

Just when you think you've seen every idiocy that alternative medicine can throw at you, up pops a full page colour ad in the Observer magazine for something that Bach Flower Remedies describe as "Yoga in a bottle."
They continue: "Two quick sprays to your tongue release the positive energy you need to find your inner calm again." So, in what circumstances should you risk making people think you have halitosis? Their website says:
"Everyday our emotions are put to the test; whether it be the dread of a dental appointment, nerves before an exam, the anticipation of a hot date or being put on hold once again by so called ‘customer services'."
Note the bare-faced cheek of the makers of so-called yoga in a bottle applying the epithet 'so-called' to something else. And if being put on hold for long periods annoys you, do what I do. Use a hands-free phone so you can get on with something else, even if it's only banging your head against the wall and shouting "Answer the phone, you fucking bastards."
We're told the bottle is sized to fit any handbag so presumably it's only marketed at women. Why this blatant sexism? Are women assumed to be more gullible or excitable? Or does it not work for men?
What's next? Tai Chi in a tablet? There's going to be a lot of empty evening classes.
Tip: if you decide to give it a try, ask them to leave it unwrapped. At £6.50 for 20ml you might need it before you leave the checkout.


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