Friday, February 13, 2009

I've been following some advice I thought I heard on the radio: don't blog unless your blog post is absolutely necessary. And I doubt that since blogging was invented there has ever been a blog post that was absolutely necessary. Certainly none of mine.
Anyway, most of the snow has now gone, apart from the tops of the hills. But while it lasted the silence was blissful. No morning rush hour, no buses running and the snow muffling footsteps. No postal deliveries so no bills for a week.

There was also the fun of joining the throng of people round the empty milk shelves in the supermarket, ready to pounce if a delivery should arrive. Some of these people that one didn't know from Adam actually started chatting. It's just like the Blitz, one thought. The second thought being: no, it isn't. A few inches of snow has stopped a milk delivery; the Germans aren't trying to bomb us to Kingdom Come.. And the few people in the village who might have experienced the latter are so old that they are trapped in their homes by the weather.
But still we cling to our 'folk memory'. So when the milk and bread was being rationed we said again: it's just like the war!


What bliss it must be to be alive at the moment if you're a Mail reader. First, it was Carole Thatcher being sacked for saying 'golliwog'. Then it was bus services cancelled on safety grounds because of the snow. The political correctness/health and safety gone mad brigade must be in an almost permanent state of orgasmic indignation.

Now today we have the publicity about a 13 year old father (12 when his baby was conceived). This has provoked the finest piece of Darwin-related idiocy I've yet heard. Someone told Radio Five this morning that our high rate of teenage pregnancy was caused by telling children "the fairy tale of evolution". So poor old Charles is responsible for every young girl that gets up the duff. Incredible.

A presenter called Victoria Derbyshire kept saying that at 12 years old you wouldn't have any idea how to have sex.
What planet is this woman on? The mechanics of sex are pretty simple and the practice of sex is fairly instinctive.
When I was 12 more than 40 years ago (before, according to Larkin, sexual intercourse had been invented) we knew how to have sex even if we had never done so. Most of us knew this even before we had our ludicrous sex education lessons. And, unlike today's kids, we didn't have access to sexual material on the internet.


The BBC's BAFTA 'Red Carpet' programme was presented by Claudia Winkelman, a woman who had not previously impinged on my consciousness. Her fawning over Hollywood film stars brought shame on the BBC and on the country.
She said to Jennifer Lopez: "You look so beautiful that I want to smell your hair. But I won't because that would be weird."
Ms Lopez said: "Yes, that would be weird", and glared at her with a mixture of bafflement and extreme distaste. As well she might since this woman was clearly deranged - like so many TV presenters today.

Televisual highlight of the week was Paxman's appearance on The One Show. He viewed the proceedings with all the disdain of an Evangelical Christian who had accidentally wandered into a gay sauna.
Giles Brandreth delivered a report on the House of Lords. Paxo said he thought Brandreth was already in the Lords because there must be some reason why he constantly appeared on television (the implication being that talent was certainly not the reason). Then, as Brandreth spoke about the Lords, Paxo rolled his eyes and eventually exploded with: "You don't really believe all that rubbish, do you?" It was wonderful to see someone cut through the blandness of The One Show.
I think Paxman is much misunderstood because he is very rarely actually angry and most of the time he is joking, as he clearly was on this occasion.

The great problem with magazine shows like The One Show is the juxtaposition of diverse items and how you link them.
Not so long ago I saw Christine Bleakley laughing uproariously with a guest who was a comedian, then turn to another camera, switch to a serious face and say "And now, Thalidomide....."
I laughed so much that I choked on my dinner.


At 12:23 PM, Blogger Geoff said...

We have The One Show on, but with the sound turned down. Whenever Brandreth comes on the screen we vigorously give him the two fingered salute. Alas we can't do the same to Thatcher any more.

At 4:04 PM, Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I would like to smell Claudia Winkelman's hair. But I wouldn't admit to it in public.

At 9:13 AM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

geoff: I wonder if TV presenters realise how some people at home are reacting to them.

vicus: your secret is safe with me and Geoff.

At 8:35 AM, Anonymous maike said...

i think if there would be only really nec essary blogs it would be really boring ;) i like reading stuff that is funny and maybe not that important.

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