Me and Me Mates
If very young people call me 'mate' is it because:
a) I look much younger than I am.
b) It is the only form of address they know.
Today a 16 year old boy in a shop called me 'mate' but the record is held by a 6 year old who bumped into me and said "sorry, mate."
Anyway, after long and careful thought lasting, ooh, all of two minutes, I have decided the answer to my question is (a).
And even when the rest of my hair has fallen out and I can no longer pass as 49 in a bad light, I'd rather the little bastards called me 'mate' than the 'Mister' of days of yore.
Much friendlier, don't you think?
A little rope bridge across the inter-generational divide. A small stick of dynamite up the arse of demographics.........
[That's enough metaphors and verbless sentences - Ed.]