Mail Editor Left Feeling A Right Tit

Poor old Mail on Sunday. (Never thought I'd write those words).
Saturday must have been a slow news day. Or a no news day. Certainly a no scoop day.
How else do you explain their front page lead that Britannia is to be removed from the 50p coin?
They've pinned this act of treachery on Brown, who apparently gave his permission when Chancellor for more modern symbols of Britain to replace the image of the war-mongering old hag.

The real imbecility of this frothing at the mouth over something so trivial becomes apparent when you discover that Britannia is a vestige of one of the two occasions when these islands were invaded, conquered and subject to foreign rule. 'Britannia' was the Roman name for Britain and the figure of Britannia was an invented goddess. The first person to put an image of Britannia on coins was Hadrian, the bloke who built the wall.

She may have later become a symbol of the British Empire but was originally a symbol of Britain as an insignificant and subject territory of a single, European state, the very scenario that, although totally false in contemporary terms, has launched a thousand Mail rants.

On early images of Britannia, she has her left tit hanging out. She was, you might say, one of the first celebrities to get her tits out for the lads. Maybe the Romans understood native culture far better than the upper class twits who ran the later British Empire.
This also suggests that The Sun might be a more appropriate paper to campaign on Britannia's behalf.
And, on reflection, maybe the 2,000 year old Page 3 stunner isn't such an inappropriate symbol after all.
A past her sell-by-date ladette, flashing her tits, clutching a Trident and waving the Union flag at an indifferent world.