Stone The Crows
I was talking of Anti-Social Behaviour Orders (ASBOs) the other day and there's no doubt that even low-level anti-social behaviour can be very irritating. I used to do my share of tutting when I saw that the yobs returning from the pub the night before had scattered the contents of the litter bins around and played football with the refuse sacks outside the houses leaving a trail of rubbish down the pavement.
Then one morning I got up at 5.30 am and looked out the window and caught the little bastards in the act. But it wasn't the youth of the village. It was crows.
The ringleader stood on top of the litter bin and threw the takeaway wrappers onto the ground so his mates could feast on cold chips and congealed Chicken Tikka Masala. A rather nauseating breakfast but I suppose if you're a crow it 's worthy of three Michelin stars.
Further down the street a single crow who preferred to eat alone was holding a black bin bag down with his foot while expertly slicing it open with his beak.
Crows are possibly the most intelligent of all birds and are capable of using tools so they're probably also capable of picking the lock on your car and eating the sweets in the glove compartment.
A study last year claimed that they might be as intelligent as the great apes and their brain size, in relative terms, is equal to that of a chimpanzee.
So with brain power that isn't far behind that of the local chavs they wreak havoc in the village street and it's the chavs that get the blame. No wonder they've got something to crow about.