Sunday, August 03, 2008

The Jacket of Doom

"The sight of him [Gordon Brown] trying to enjoy his holiday while wearing a grey sports jacket and a pinstriped shirt with only one button undone will be the final straw for most people......Not since Neil Kinnock's windswept collapse on a beach has a carefully engineered photo opportunity said so much about a political leader's unsuitability for the job."
- Melissa Kite in the Torygraph

I think this is the same woman I heard on the radio saying much the same thing about Gordon Brown wearing a jacket on holiday. She said "of course, it shouldn't matter" but then proceeded to say why it mattered hugely.
The only advantage to listening to such infantile burblings is that you realise that however much time and talent you might have wasted in your life, it pales into insignificance compared to the time-wasting preoccupations of cretinous media whores like this.
Note that the wearing of the jacket is not just a fashion crime. It renders him unfit to be Prime Minister.

She's not the only one. There has been acres of analysis of Brown's jacket and unfavourable comparisons with Cameron's multi-coloured shorts which apparently make the Old Etonian (whose other favourite holiday is shooting on his father-in-law's Scottish estate - no cameras allowed there, of course) a man of the people.
One of today's papers carried the even more shocking revelation that Brown had been observed wearing his jacket while lying on the beach.

Whilst I have many political disagreements with Gordon Brown, I can empathise with him in matters sartorial.
I never sally forth from Lupin Towers on even the hottest days without wearing a jacket. This is for purely practical reasons. The male jacket is a design classic that has hardly changed over the years. It usually has five different pockets. These are essential for carrying my wallet, loose change, reading glasses and possibly a mobile phone. Where do people put all these things without a jacket?

One option would be a 'man bag', a male handbag, but then the local yobs would shout "Poof!" at me. Although factually correct, I wouldn't want to give them the pleasure. It also says to a thief 'here are all my valuables handily stored in a single container for you to snatch.'
The other option is to stuff your wallet in the back pocket of your trousers, another open invitation to thieves. Yet millions of people walk around with the top of their wallet protruding from the back pocket of their jeans. These people all shop at Asda, for that supermarket had a long-running commercial that featured shoppers patting the back pocket of their jeans to indicate how much money they were saving and then offering up to some light-fingered latter-day Fagin.

Can you imagine the ridicule Brown would have suffered if he'd kitted himself out in T-shirt, shorts and flip-flops? This is the mother-and-father of no-win situations for poor Brown. But the jacket was the right choice because in matters of dress as in everything else the best policy is "to thine own self be true."
That I can identify with a man who takes a suitcase full of books on holiday and wears a jacket on the beach presumably makes me as weird as Gordon. But I don't give a fuck. And neither should he.


At 6:28 PM, Blogger Geoff said...

I was impressed by Cameron throwing that frisbee on the beach. I bet there was nobody there to catch it.

And then when he was sitting on that rock, pointing out to sea. I bet there was nothing for him to point at. Except, perhaps, the future.

At 8:13 AM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

geoff: I wish he'd been pointing at an approaching tsunami.

At 12:22 PM, Blogger cello said...

The more everyone has a go at him, the more I want to rush to poor, flawed-but-basically-decent Gordon's aid.

I am in a massively anti-newspaper phase at the moment - yes, even our beloved Guardian. The cake and eating it syndrome is out of hand; very nearly Heat proportions viz you get slagged off if you're thin/fat/tall/short/tanned/pale/dressed down/up/optimistic/cautious etc etc.

Being opinionated is not the same as having opinions - in my opinion!

At 3:15 PM, Blogger Willie Lupin said...

cello: I know. I've seen your Guardian letters! I was going to reply to one of them, not to disagree but to make another point. Maybe I'll communicate with you by other means.

I get irritated by the amount of space that G2 gives to idiotic fashion articles. I know one doesn't have to read them but G2 does contain an awful lot of drivel for a so-called intelligent newspaper.

Bloggers, of course, should be wary of criticising others for their opinion pieces. But some of the stuff in the press is far more vicious than anything I've ever written.


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